Being a strong person does not mean being a support for everyone and everything, neglecting yourself.
When we try to imagine an emotionally strong person we see them as “wearing heavy armor surrounded by sharp swords” waiting for attacks, but this is a completely wrong idea. Strong people are those who are actually unarmed: they have only this splendid ability to put up with so burden without complaining.
If you consider yourself a person with these characteristics, perhaps it is good that you pause for a moment and think about your situation: to what extent will you be able to resist? If you put all your effort into helping others without caring about your needs, sooner or later you will end up breaking down and giving in. Having a very high emotional resistance does not mean having to bear the weight of the problems of others indefinitely, you also need to think about yourself.
Never showing yourself weak in the eyes of others does not mean that you do not suffer, in fact you most likely feel your pain in addition to that of others. The problem is that the people around you don’t know this and can’t know unless you tell them openly. There is nothing wrong with being weak every now and then.
Strong people also go to therapy
Almost all of us think that going to a psychologist is something stigmatizing that only people with mental or social problems have to visit a therapist, yet it is not the case. The majority of those who come into treatment with a psychotherapist are absolutely a “normal” people, just like everyone else. It can simply happen to those who keep everything inside and never deny help to those around them, to suddenly feel tired, drained and devoid of all energy.This happens because strong people are not boxers, they are punching bags: they are used to helping others without expecting anything in return until they break down. It can happen at any moment, and after a long time without showing weakness there could be an event that, however small and insignificant, takes us completely down because of what we have endured before. Right at this moment we realize that we have run out of all energy but it is now too late to be able to recover quickly. As often happens, after a long time spent helping others, we overcome the level of stress we can bear and we go into crisis.
How to take care of yourself
There is no easy solution: if you are a strong person and willing to help anyone you meet, changing is not at all easy but, fortunately, you won’t have to. You don’t have to give up your innate altruism, also because it’s a very positive character trait . What you need to do is take a few moments for yourself , for your wants and needs. Also try to avoid conflicts without solution: they force you to a high expenditure of energy and do not take you anywhere. When dealing with other people, remember that you don’t have to be the strong all the time, try to let go of your weaknesses every now and then. Of course, you shouldn’t expect everyone you have helped to be willing to return the favor, you have probably offered support to numerous people who would not have deserved it. Yet don’t doubt, if you have given support to those around you, many of them will be ready to thank you in time of need. The most important thing is to remind yourself that even Superman occasionally took off his tights and sank into Lois Lane’s arms to be comforted.
Written By Tyara Wolf
Psychology and Personal Development