Some research indicates that people, on average, do a lot of thinking, and produce about 50,000 times a day. Unfortunately, 80% of this talk is negative. They tell themselves things like:
- I shouldn’t have said that that.
- They don’t like me.
- I will never be able to accomplish this.
- I don’t like my hair today.
- I cannot dance.
- I will never lose these pounds.
- I can never organize my day.
- I’m always late.
- and many others.
These kinds of thoughts have a very powerful effect on us.
Our negative thoughts end up controlling our behavior.
We also know, thanks to lie detector tests, that our body reacts to our thoughts, changing the temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory rate, muscle tension and sweating.
Every cell in your body is affected by thoughts you have.
- Negative thoughts negatively affect your body, making you weal, making you sweat and making you nervous.
- Positive thoughts positively affect the body, making you relaxed, focused and alert. They cause the release of endorphins in the brain, reduce pain and increase pleasure.
Stomp on those ants – ANT (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Psychiatrist Daniel G. Amen defined the limiting thoughts we hear in the head with the abbreviation ANT (ant) – Automatic Negative Thoughts.
And just like real ants on a picnic, your automatic negative thoughts can ruin your life experience.
Dr. Amen recommends learning to stomp on automatic negative thoughts.
First, you need to become aware of them Then you have to shake them off and step on them by questioning them. Finally, you need to replace them with more positive and worthy thoughts.
The key to dealing with negative thinking is to understand that you have the responsibility to decide whether to listen to any of them or to live with them.
Just because you think those thoughts, it doesn’t mean they are true.
You should constantly ask yourself:
- Is this thought helping or harming me?
- Is it getting me closer to my goals or is it taking me away from my goal?
- Is it motivating me to take action, or is it blocking me with fear and insecurity?
We have different types of negative thoughts
Here are some common types of negative thoughts and how to get rid of them.
The “always or never” way of thinking
If you think that something will happen, or that you will never get what you want, then you are doomed from the very start.
Here are some examples:
- I will never get a raise.
- Everyone takes advantage of me.
- My employees never listen to me.
- I never have time for myself.
- They always make fun of me.
- I can never take a rest.
- Whenever I take a risk, I get crushed.
- Nobody cares if I live or die.
When you find yourself harboring thoughts like “always or never”, replace them with what is really true.
- Instead of You always take advantage of me think: I get angry when you take advantage of me, but I know you have treated me fairly in the past and will do it again.
FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE
Some people focus only on the bad outcome and never on the good in any situation.
You have to learn to look for the positive in things and events.
Not only will it help you get better, but it will also be a crucial component in creating the results you desire.
Learn to play the game of appreciation by looking for things to appreciate in any situation.
Spend 7 minutes each morning writing down the things you value in your life.
Look for the good around you.
In catastrophic thinking you create the worst possible scenario in your mind and then act as if it were a certainty.
For example, you may think that the person who attracts you rejects your request to go out with you. In this case, replace “She will probably laugh at me if I ask her out” with “I don’t know what she will do. It could be anything.”
Thought reading iswhen you think you know what another person is thinking, even if they haven’t told you.
Remember that unless you possess paranormal powers, you cannot read anyone’s mind. You never know what people really think.
Remember the phrase: “When in doubt, check!” to make you wonder rather than think you know.
STUMBLING INTO GUILT
Guilt occurs when you think words like I should, I must, I have a duty to, or I am required to.
Here are some examples:
- I should spend more time studying for the final exam.
- I should spend more time at home with children.
- I need to exercise more.
As soon as we think we should do something, we create an internal resistance to do it.
Guilt is never productive.
It will hinder the achievement of your goals. So get rid of this emotional barrier as soon as possible
Thismeans putting a negative label on yourself or someone else.
It is a form of abbreviation that prevents you from clearly making distinctions that would be helpful in being efficient.
Replace the thought “I’m stupid” with ” What I just did was far from brilliant, but I’m still a smart person.”
TAKING IT PERSONALLY
Taking something personally means having a neutral event affect zou on a personal level.Examples:
- Kevin hasn’t called me yet, he must be mad at me.
- We lost a customer, it must be my fault. I should have spent more time on the proposal.
The truth is, there are many other possible explanations for the actions of others besides the negative reasons you pull out of your automatic negative thoughts.
Kevin probably didn’t call you back because he was sick, out of town, or overwhelmed by his personal priorities.
You actually never know why others do what they do.
You have to speak to yourself as a winner
What if you could learn to always speak to yourself as a winner instead of a loser?
And what if you could turn your inner critic, who judges your every move, into a supportive inner coach who encourages you and gives you confidence as you face new situations and risks?
All of this is possible with a little awareness, focus and resolution.
Written By Tyara Wolf
Psychology and Personal Development