Build your own tunnels yourself!
This is a metaphor. People seem to move in tunnels. Each in his own way.
There are general tunnels. They can intersect, merge into one another, can diverge. And they can exist in parallel. Here you have a neighbor, for example, but you never meet him – you live in parallel worlds.
There are times when a person, thinking, suddenly finds himself surrounded by some strangers, unusual people. So, he or she was thrown into a strange tunnel, they can stay there, but more often than not, people return back to their own, more familiar one. The whole question is how consciously they do this.
You can pull the right person into your own tunnel, you can suddenly meet them on the street, call them, they will come into your life. But if you approach this consciously, you will realize who you are missing, and with a calm desire (without suffering or a feeling of insufficiency) you invite them into your life.
You can exit the “alien tunnel”, where you are somehow attracted, or withdraw from a person with whom you do not want to be more – and now, your paths no longer intersect: they exist separately, but you stop meeting and interacting with them. Sometimes it is not necessary to make super efforts in order to part in the outer world, it is enough to part internally, the space will react quickly enough.
If the spouses, having divorced, i.e. passed the formal divorce procedure, continue to be in the same living space, they internally did not part.
If the spouses parted, but he is called to “change shelves” or “change windows” in the house where she lives, or to constantly “take care of the children”, and comes to them with gifts and help (which they do not particularly ask for), then, in fact, they did not part, they are still in the same tunnel.
A conscious person chooses who to invite into his own space, with whom to go in the same tunnel, from whom to slip away, and with whom to stay.
The selection criterion with whom to be in the same tunnel for a conscious person is quite simple. If these are the right people for you, you strengthen yourself, you open creatively, and you are open to internal and external opportunities and prospects. Unconscious people do not choose for themselves, they are simply “drawn” to other people, who are sometimes very destructive to their well-being, not understanding why, just succumbing to this vague desire.
Build your own tunnels yourself! Get away from people who make you feel guilty, who are destroying you, who have no love for you, who want to control and keep you miserable, in short, with whom you lose your own strength. Look for interactions in which you will be able to strengthen yourself, open up, grow, feel your own value.
It is not easy to leave the destructive tunnel and stay in the new one at first. The former will (often) pull you back, it will “behave” as if it has more rights on you. But you have to go through your personal evolution, the disclosure of your destiny where your strength is manifested to a greater extent, and your potential, where it will be appreciated by the people around you.
Does all of the above mentioned relate to family life and partnerships? Yes, of course.
Written By Tyara Wolf
Psychology and Personal Development